Living with an Alcoholic: Tips for Life with Alcohol Use Disorder

Many people with AUDs will have difficulty admitting they have a problem. Substance use disorders (SUDs) have such stigma in today’s society and people with SUDs want to believe they’re in control of their life. Admitting to an AUD would upend the mythology they’ve created for themselves. Alcohol abuse is much more common in men than in women, and it affects them in different ways. Being able to drink a lot is seen as a sign of masculinity in much of the world.

Coping with an Alcoholic Partner or Family Member

1. Attending a rehab center and receiving alcohol detox may be a first stage of treatment followed by individual and group therapy practices.
2. Lean on close family and friends, find a therapist, and join a community mutual-help group made up of others like you—the partners, parents, and other loved ones of individuals with alcohol use disorder.
3. Supporting your loved one with AUD can be extremely beneficial to their recovery.
4. Invest in your relationships with other people, with your children, and with your extended family members.
5. The level of treatment needed depends on the severity of alcohol use and their willingness to participate.
6. If (or when) they do, you’ll want to know what options are out there for the treatment of AUDs and what to look for in a treatment provider.

However, some 12-step groups are spiritually based while others are not, so they may not appeal to or work for everyone. All of these common experiences might leave you feeling a greater sense of instability for yourself and your children. By Buddy TBuddy T is a writer and founding member of the Online Al-Anon Outreach Committee with decades of experience writing about alcoholism. Because he is a member of a support group that stresses the importance of anonymity at the public level, he does not use his photograph or his real name on this website.

Alcohol use disorder is categorized by drinking that is harmful to a person and can range from mild to severe. If your husband or wife is open to getting help, their first step is to go to a therapist or doctor who can best diagnose them celebrity fetal alcohol syndrome and recommend a course of treatment. There are also many types of meetings your partner can attend (Alcoholics Anonymous, SMART Recovery, or Women for Sobriety). If you don’t feel like you can come to your spouse with this mindset, you think someone else in their life could do it better or that your spouse may be open to listening to someone else, that’s okay.

When Is It Time to Leave a Partner with an Alcohol Addiction?

They are taught by licensed professionals and include topics on understanding addiction, how addiction affects a family and how to get a plan in place. This can be helpful for families who want a more in depth understanding of addiction. Al-Anon is a support group for people with an alcohol use disorder, and for those who are affected by someone else’s drinking.

But they can also help you identify any key signs suggesting it’s time to consider leaving the relationship, if only temporarily. Self-care includes setting healthy boundaries with your partner around behaviors you will and won’t accept, says Flagg. Because alcohol use can also exaggerate emotional states while decreasing self-awareness, it may also lead to problematic behavior, including verbal aggression, according to Metcalf.

Remember that severe alcoholism is a disease

Kristeen Cherney is a freelance writer and PhD candidate who specializes in covering topics related to mental disabilities, women’s health, skin health, diabetes, thyroid disease, asthma, and allergies. She’s also currently working on her dissertation, which explores intersections of disability studies and literacy studies. When she’s not researching or writing, Cherney enjoys getting outdoors as much as possible.

If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, our expert team is here to guide you every step of the way. Parents may also enable their adult child by supporting them financially, making excuses for their addiction or hiding their behavior from friends and family. Moderate alcohol use is most likely not harmful, but approximately 18 million adult Americans suffer from an alcohol use disorder, or AUD.

Instead, it only prevents your spouse from experiencing the results of his or her actions that could eventually lead to recovery. Establishing boundaries is crucial when living with an alcoholic spouse. This means defining what behavior you find unacceptable and clearly communicating the consequences of crossing those boundaries. Boundaries are essential for your well-being and can also encourage your spouse to seek help.

Studies have found that heavy drinking, by either or both partners, leads to greater dissatisfaction in the relationship, which in turn often leads to separation. In fact, alcohol and substance abuse is the third most often cited reason for divorce according to women. The drinking of a partner who has an alcohol use disorder can cause many of these challenges and potentially others. As a result, a man or woman in this situation may rely on coping strategies that are not healthy or productive, and that cause further harm. For instance, withdrawing and hiding is a strategy of avoidance that may provide some temporary relief. Over time, though, the spouse who withdraws simply waits while the problem gets worse, and in the meantime becomes more distant from friends and extended family.